Whether you’re celebrating a birthday, a graduation or a retirement, family gatherings are always a good time, right? The good food is endless, and the laughs are usually at your dorky cousin’s expense. Everyone enjoys themselves. It’s great.
That is, until you involuntarily begin fielding questions from family members about your personal life. Is there any way to dodge them besides faking a stomach ache unfortunately right before dessert comes out? If you have your own hidden tactic, let us know.
Here are a few questions and scenarios best described through our favorite characters:
When you realize your chatty aunt is closing in on you:
I’m done for. Done for.
“What happened to that nice girl you were dating?”
Maybe let’s not do this right now.
“But she was such a sweetie!”
Must we do this right now?
“Oh man, I was really hoping for some babies to play with. Someone around here needs to start having kids!”
Not me, not today, Aunt Marge.
“Well I’m sorry to hear that. For your birthday, how about a gift card to that fun gym you used to go to?”
Did my pants really get that tight?
You begin looking for another sibling to pawn the questioning onto:
Damn, they’ve all fled the scene. It’s every man for themselves out here apparently.
Then, you notice your mom gave away all of the leftovers behind your back:
What the heck mom????
The look you give her expecting an apology:
Did Grandma really need all those mashed potatoes? Really? #stanleythemanly
What we wish we could say leading up to the inquisition:
Aren’t family gatherings so much fun?