12 Days of Christmas: Five Ugly Sweaters

If it isn’t December until you get invited to SantaCon in the city, then it super isn’t December until you’ve been invited to an Ugly Sweater Party.

As good as self-aware ugly sweaters (much like the ones we’ve chosen here) are, nothing is truly as ugly as a sweater that doesn’t mean to be that way. For example, think of the sweater you wore for 8th grade school pictures, or the one from the old ladies’ section of Kohl’s. Sometimes the best sweaters at these parties are ill-fitted, sorry excuses for garments that someone, somewhere seriously considered wearing.

In any case, Ugly Sweater Parties have extended the dress code into Ridiculous Sweater Parties. So if you’ve come to entertain the latter, we’ve picked out five ridiculous sweaters for you to choose from below.

Patchwork Cardigan

patchwork cardigan

TispyElves dedicates a large portion of its merchandise to such parties. They seem to know what they’re doing, especially by outfitting fuzzy balls over buttons of this cardigan.

SHOP | www.tipsyelves.com, $59.95.

Elf Suit Sweater

elf sweater

You can only wear this if you promise to pick up every phone you hear ringing and say, “Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?”

SHOP| www.target.com, $28.

The Light-Up Sweater

DIY sweater

Okay, this one is a little on the intense side: Set up is required. Complete with a set of decals and pipe cleaners to glue on, this sweater allows for maximum customization, and a little bit of arts & crafts.

SHOP | www.kohls.com, $24.99.

A Very Donald Christmas

trupm xmas

We’re not disputing the fact that $73 is a lot to pay for a sweater. But this sweater bares the face of America’s front-running Republican candidate, which is either depressing, or really awesome, depending on what side of the political spectrum you fall on, if any at all.

But anyways, think of the memories you’ll have once you make this Christmas great again.

SHOP | www.etsy.com, $73.

Hotline Bling


Did Lolli Couture just win best sweater award? Or did you, at the party you’re about to wear this to?

SHOP | www.lollicouture.com, $19.99.